


So cold

by Jo_Heda



Series: The broken woman and the girl of steel [1]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Abusive Parents, Angst, F/F, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Lillian is bad too, Lionel is an horrible person, Past Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-01
Updated: 2016-12-01
Packaged: 2018-09-03 16:24:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8720626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jo_Heda/pseuds/Jo_Heda
Summary: Lena wears a mask every day. Now it's starting to crumble. The first time she falls no one is there to catch her but the second time she's not alone.
Inspired by a post I read on tumblr about Lionel and Lena's possible relationship based on Lillian's words about how she had always been his favorite.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize for eventual mistakes. English is not my first language.

  _**-It's so quiet here** _  
_**And I feel so cold**_  
_**This house no longer**_  
 _ **Feels like home.-**_

_**(So Cold, Ben Cocks)** _

 

_“When it comes to your children, Lex was always your favorite”_

_“And you always your father’s”_

_“You sound almost jealous”_

Lena stared at the window but all she could see was her reflection on the surface. She looked at her face and analyzed her features, her jaw clenching more and more.

She could see it, she could see what everyone had always seen in her, the beauty that so many women envied and so many men desired.

Lena felt sick but she couldn’t stop looking and as the seconds passed she kept remembering.

How could her mother love her? How could anyone love her ? She closed her eyes shut and braced herself, seeking comfort in her own embrace.

Lillian was right. She had always been her father’s favorite and she would never forget that. She could still feel his hands on her skin and hear his voice whispering in her ear.

The woman dug her nails in her arms, she found comfort in the physical pain so she scratched her pale skin harder.

_You’re so beautiful Lena._

Her breath got faster as she shivered violently, she let herself fall on the ground and bit her lips hard, barely stopping a desperate moan.

_I just want you to know how much I love you_

Lena hid her face between her arms, her body started shaking and this time she couldn’t contain the broken cry that escaped her lips.

She hated it. She hated him. She hated herself. She deserved her mother’s indifference, her hate. She deserved all of this.

 

When her eyes met her reflection on the window she smiled ironically at herself, at the hollow woman sitting on the pavement with red eyes and ruined make up.

The CEO stayed still for moments that seemed hour before her heartbeat calmed down.

Lena inhaled and exhaled slowly, she got up in silence and went to bathroom to fix what the tears had messed up.

She critically looked at red marks on her arms, then she started taking care of her face, her usual mask already back on, like the last minutes had never happened.

 

 

_“You’re too good and too smart to follow in her path. Be your own hero”_

 

Supergirl’s words echoed in her mind every moments, they kept reminding her why she had chosen to play her mother, why she had chosen to save every alien in National City and lose the only family figure she had.

She knew that this was the right thing to do but the toll had been high. She felt so tired and lonely. An hollow laugh escaped her lips, echoing in the silent of her office.

The CEO walked  to her balcony and looked down, her grip on the glass of scotch tightening at every step.

It was late but the city was still awake, like her. She lifted the glass and drank all the content, wincing slightly when the strong liquid made her feel like her lungs were burning.

Lena didn’t know how many times she had already refilled the glass but she didn’t care.

In that moment she thought about how this brought her closer to Lionel Luthor and she couldn’t avoid the deep disgust that overwhelmed her.

It was fair that the only thing that linked her to her father was the habit of drowning her problems with alcohol. He was the one that made her start drinking and even now he held this power on her.

 

When Supergirl approached the building she felt her heart sinking at Lena’s sight and she stopped abruptly. Kara looked at her and the guilt started overwhelming her for the way she had treated the woman before.

She thought about going away and coming back in the morning but she decided to stay so she landed on the balcony and announced her presence.

“Ms Luthor”

 

Lena didn’t notice the other woman until the last moment and she jumped when the blonde hero started talking, the grip on the glass loosened and it started precipitating.

The CEO took a shaky breath before she turned around, any sign of distress gone from her face, hidden behind her usual façade.

“Supergirl”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to startle you”

“I wasn’t paying attention. Why are you here?”

 

Kara felt the urge to hold her tightly but she pushed the insane idea away and took a step closer. Lena had lost a lot today but even after everything that had happened she was standing there and Kara found her more beautiful and fierce than ever.

Her blue eyes scanned the figure of the CEO with sadness and pride but when she saw the bruises and light marks on the pale skin of her arms, she felt the worry taking over.

She lifted her hand to touch the abused skin but as soon as she saw Lena flinching she froze.

“I’m sorry… I just…Did someone hurt you? Did you get hurt during the attack at L-Corp?”

“Please Supergirl. I’m fine. Nothing happened”

“Lena if anything happened you can tell me, I want to help you”

 

The CEO held the ironic laugh that she felt rising in her throat at the hero’s words. How could she tell to Supergirl that the only danger to her person was herself? It was her fault if she had never been enough. She was just an orphan lucky enough to have a pretty face. She had never been a Luthor, like her mother loved to remember her, like her father said every time she tried to say that he needed to stop, because she was his daughter.

Maybe it was the alcohol or the stress of what had happened, maybe both, but when Lena met the younger woman’s gaze she couldn’t hold back anymore.

Hot tears started running down her cheeks and desperate cries broke the silence while the woman fell on the floor for the second time in the same day.

 

Kara wasn’t expecting it, she had ever thought possible to see the strong and beautiful woman in front of her falling on her knees and crying desperately.

She froze for a second but the shock was immediately forgotten as she kneeled and approached the woman slowly.

When Lena flinched away from her and looked at her with fear she felt her heart breaking but she pushed her tears away because she was more important now.

Lena knew who was with her but even if she would have never mistaken her beautiful blue eyes and the way she said her name, her mind wouldn’t stop taking her back. Now she could only see his face and hear his voice telling her to stay in silence.

She didn’t want her to know. No one had to know but she couldn’t stop and when Kara tried to touch her again she braced herself and started scratching her own skin to make it stop, to make him stop.

“Lena. Lena it’s me. Please look at me. I’m Kara. Lena please stop”

“It’s my fault. It’s my fault”

“Lena look at me” Kara lifted the woman face and touched her forehead with her, grabbing her hands.

 “Kara…I’m sorry. I’m sorry”

 

The kryptonian brushed her fingers on her skin and she thanked Rao when she understood that the woman was herself again. The fact that Lena knew about her real identity wasn’t relevant, not when she had just watched her break down.

What had happened that day had take an heavy toll on the CEO but Kara couldn’t stop thinking that there was something else, something bad that the woman had pushed deep inside her and now was coming out.

“You don’t have to apologize. It’s not your fault. Any of this”

 

Lena wanted to say that she didn’t know anything but looking in her eyes she couldn’t.

She closed her eyes and let the warmth from the other woman overwhelming her. She tried with every strength left not to push her away because even if her touch was warm and reassuring she still felt the ghost of his touch.

“I don’t deserve this. You shouldn’t be here. There are people out there that really need you”

 

Kara started lifting her hand but she stopped before her fingers could brush the other girls cheek and searched for her approval. Lena focused her gaze on her blue irises and tried to stop thinking.

When the younger woman’s fingertips touched her cold skin she shivered but she didn’t stop her. The soothing movement of the girl of steel on her face helped her and Lena begun to breath slower. The kryptonian filled her gaze with the brunette figure, eyes closed, lips slightly open and red cheeks because of the cold wind.

Kara started singing, her voice so delicate that it seemed a whisperer, and kept running her fingers on the woman’s face, drawing invisible pattern on her skin.

She didn’t stop when Lena fell asleep in her arms, too exhausted to move, nor when she lifted her like the most precious thing in the universe to take her inside.

The girl of steel stayed by her side the whole night, she sang every lullaby that her mother taught her and watched over her, holding her close.

**Author's Note:**

> I've never written something so dark or heavy so I apologize if I didn't do a great job. I love Supercorp with all my heart and Lena is one of the most beautiful and fascinating character I've ever seen. I hope that her potential won't go to waste on the show.


End file.
